Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers
you have inside that you have built against it
— RUMI

Relationship and Dating Problems

Our romantic relationships (or absence of them) greatly impact on our happiness and wellbeing. Commonly occurring relationship problems include:

COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS

Negative patterns of withdrawal/demand and difficulties with assertiveness. Common issues are conflict avoidance, problems with expressing authentic views, passive-aggressive communication and at times complete inability to communicate about feelings. 

AnXIOUS-AVOIDANT trap

One partner avoids intimacy and one craves for it. This causes a commonly occurring dynamic of 'chasing' and withdrawing which is highly stressful for both partners involved.

DIFFICULTIES WITH DATING

Problems finding an appropriate partner: for example constantly falling for the 'wrong' type of partner or ending up feeling uneasy  when relationships deepen.

Attachment issues and difficulties setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships are commonly playing up as early as the first few dates! These issues can often be resolved through appropriate self-awareness and readjustment of behaviours and interactions. 

LACK OF AUTHENTICITY

Not knowing how to be one's authentic self in relationships and thereby avoiding close and intimate connections.

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Dealing with partners that are passive-aggressive, narcissistic or in other ways 'toxic' and you keep taking on too big an emotional burden in the relationship.

**Recognise the signs of unhealthy relationships and take action now to avoid further damage to your mental health and wellbeing**

Relationship problems with a person who is addicted 

Living and loving with a person who is addicted is challenging in a myriad of different ways. Maintaining boundaries, knowing when your help as turned into 'rescuing' (unhelpful) and swinging between feelings of pain, anger, distrust and pity and compassion and often 'overgiving' is a commonly occuring issue in these relationships. Learning how to maintain a more balanced yet informed stance with your partner and how to set appropriate boundaries to protect yourself from getting more hurt are important lessons for partners.